Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
