I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
