If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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