the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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