Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
