Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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