But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
