the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Houston, we have a squirter
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
