i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
