I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
