that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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