so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
