i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
