yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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