he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
But break dance skills will only take you so far
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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