shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
