could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
