WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
