You're completely useless in the revolution.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
