I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
