Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
