he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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