i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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