He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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