i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
