You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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