I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Farmville is her only friend.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
