apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
