I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
