You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
