You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
