listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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