I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
