Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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