yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
How many fucks given?
0.12846
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
