I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize
