Bisexual people are plain selfish.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Randomize
