Umm I'm too high to move.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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