forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
