We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
