We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
