pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Randomize
