Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
