Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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