Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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