I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
