I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
