One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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