She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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