So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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