Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
